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Post by Dreamer on May 4, 2008 17:09:29 GMT -5
"Nicknames are fine, sometimes they're better than real names."
Dreamer shrugged a bit.
"I don't know," she said. "Nickname's can be fun, but...I guess sometimes you just need to hear your real name so you don't forget who you really are,"
Dreamer stopped a bit. She figured she was telling a little bit too much about herself. If she went too far, she could end up being asked her real name soon. Her name before she became a newsie. And she didn't want that, so she decided to move onto a different subject.
"So are you from New York or something?" she asked. "Or are you from somewhere else?"
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Post by Adam Trumper on May 11, 2008 20:40:10 GMT -5
"Nickname's can be fun, but...I guess sometimes you just need to hear your real name so you don't forget who you really are,"
Adam nodded slightly, she did bring up a good point. If he had a nickname it would be something that his girlfriend would call him, a pet name would be a better word for it. Either that or it would him messing around with his friends, and they were most likely drunk and the nicknames were the product of it. Both of which have happened, Rose had a pet name for him and he got wasted with his friends one time. And both were utterly humiliating. "That's a good point, I've never thought of that." He said.
"So are you from New York or something? Or are you from somewhere else?"
He exhaled, "I'm from Chicago. I moved here from there about six months ago. I'm just now getting up back on my feet." After realizing what he said, he mentally kicked himself. He said too much, why did he say that? It was normal, someone his age moving to New York just now getting started? Yeah, it happened all the time. He only hoped she wouldn't ask him anything.
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Post by Dreamer on May 11, 2008 20:48:36 GMT -5
"I'm from Chicago. I moved here from there about six months ago. I'm just now getting up back on my feet."
Dreamer nodded.
"I know how that feels," she said softly. "...I'm from Texas. I moved up here about a month or two again. There's a lot of things going on right now that I...just want to forget,"
When Dreamer said that, she cursed at herself in her head. Why did she just say that? First her name and now this? If he asks, then she'd have to be pressured into either lying or confessing about the fire and the murder of her parents...maybe even the fact that the gang that escaped from jail, who were responsible for her troubles, might be on their way to New York.
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Post by Adam Trumper on May 11, 2008 20:56:11 GMT -5
"I know how that feels, ...I'm from Texas. I moved up here about a month or two again. There's a lot of things going on right now that I...just want to forget,"
Adam sympathized with her. He understood what it was like to move away from a horrible past and try to forget. But he couldn't forget, it was nearly impossible. Everytime he turned his head something reminded him, and it was driving him crazy. He hated not being able to forget his regrets. He wasn't able to live, the doubt and guilt crept up on him all the time. Voices from his past would haunt him, telling him to go back to the lifestyle he was so desperately trying to get rid of. His life was almost a nightmare.
"I understand that." He said, "I wish I could forget." He said absent-mindedly. Why couldn't he just forget? It was a horrible feeling, the torment his mind played on him. It never gave him a break, it constantly kept going. Making him feel miserable.
He deeply regretted his past. He could never be normal again. He had to avoid getting sick or injured, they would possibly give him morphine for the pain. Which would make him want to return to his habits. He couldn't go by the docks anymore, where the prostitutes and druggies hung out. He couldn't enjoy vaudeville again, like he used to. He gave his life away, and he could never get it back.
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Post by Dreamer on May 13, 2008 12:51:50 GMT -5
"I understand that." He said, "I wish I could forget."
Dreamer nodded in agreement, looking away for a bit as she let her mind wandered.
Those memories of the fire and her parent's deaths kept playing in her head...
...The headline from a few days before still flashing in her mind...
...The fact that she let a criminal, and a murderer at that too, and his gang take the lives of her parents and take advantage of her.
A tear streamed down her cheek, a lump catching in her throat.
"Yeah," she said softly."So do I,"
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Post by Adam Trumper on May 25, 2008 13:40:25 GMT -5
"Yeah, So do I,"
Adam honestly felt like crying. He desperately wished things could do back to the way they were. That was his one wish in life, whereas some people wanted money, love or fame. Adam wanted his life back, although fame would be nice too. Find, one song, one last refrain. Glory, from the pretty boy front man, who wasted opportunity. But he blew it, he blew his once chance, his one shot at everything he ever wanted. He had everything he ever wanted, but it all died with Rose.
He gripped his guitar, holding back the hot tears that were forming in his eyes. He bit his lip, trying to hold back the sobs. He couldn't cry in front of a girl, it was alright if she cried in front of him. But that was a blow to his ego if he let someone see his emotions. His emotions was well, his emotions. He didn't like anybody to see him weak or vulnerable. He hated sympathy and he hated pity, but yet he pitied himself so often.
Hopefully New York would give him another shot at giving his life back. Maybe it would give him the second chance he needed. Everybody came to New York for two reasons; they were either hiding, or they came here on a dream. Adam came for both. He wanted to get away, he needed a change of scene. And he came here for his dream of being successful. First, he would have to overcome the trials he was trying to hide. That would be the hardest part, and if he overcame that he wouldn't care about being successful.
He tried to keep the conversation moving along, but didn't know what else to say that wouldn't make Dreamer or himself uncomfortable. "So uh, you know what I do for a living. What about you?" He asked.
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Post by Dreamer on May 25, 2008 13:54:50 GMT -5
"So uh, you know what I do for a living. What about you?"
Broken from her thoughts, Dreamer looked up at Adam, wiping the stray tear away. She always felt like such an idiot when she appeared to be crying for no reason.
But the reason she was getting ready to cry was the memory of her parents.
However, she controlled herself and gave Adam a smal smile.
"I'm, uh, I'm a newsie," she replied with a bit of a nod. "I sell newspapers for The New York World..."
She thought to herself for a few seconds and laughed a small bit.
"I'm not very good at it though," she added with a hint of embarassment. "It's because, um...newsies, you see, when the headline's not so good to attract people, we, um...we lie about it, making the headling catchy so that we get money. And I really don't like lieing to people like that...plus, I'm really not that good around strangers most of the time. I get scared sometimes,"
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Post by Adam Trumper on May 25, 2008 14:28:01 GMT -5
Adam noticed Dreamer crying, he felt bad for her. She was the first person that he had met in a long time that he could relate to. He didn't mind relating to someone, as long as they didn't probe him with questions on his emotions. He hated that. He looked her in the eyes, "Are you okay?" He asked. Adam did have a heart of gold, you just had to get by his baggage and hard exterior.
"I'm, uh, I'm a newsie, I sell newspapers for The New York World..."
He nodded, "Oh really?" He knew of newsies, there were tons in New York. Some could be annoying, and some could be okay. The annoying ones were the ones that would come up to you and do a really fake sick act, and okay ones were the ones who actually gave you your paper and went off on their business.
"It's because, um...newsies, you see, when the headline's not so good to attract people, we, um...we lie about it, making the headling catchy so that we get money. And I really don't like lieing to people like that...plus, I'm really not that good around strangers most of the time. I get scared sometimes,"
He knew that the newsies lied about their headlines, he found that out the hard way back in Chicago. It didn't bother him, he never really bought a paper. Plus, they had to make a living somehow, it was better than stealing. "I'm not good with strangers either, I'm really akward and embarrassed around them." He confessed. He used to be really good with people he didn't know until everything happened. Then he felt like they could see into his soul and they were judging him.
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Post by Dreamer on May 25, 2008 20:59:42 GMT -5
"Are you okay?"
Noticing that there were still tears running down her cheeks, Dreamer quickly wiped them away, hoping that they didn't attract too much attention.
"Yes," she replied softly, wrapping her arms around herself. "I'm fine, thank you,"
She hoped Adam didn't ask her what the matter was. She couldn't bear telling anyone else about her past. The last time she did, she ended up fainting and had gotten sick to the stomach.
"Oh really?"
"Yeah," Dreamer nodded. "...Well, technically a newsie trainee,"
She smiled a bit, embarassed that she was just a trainee. Problem was, only Racetrack gave a her a few tips, and that was it. Nobody was officially training her.
"I'm not good with strangers either, I'm really akward and embarrassed around them."
"...I'm usually scared around them," Dreamer replied softly. "I don't know why. It's lately become this irrational fear lately,"
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Post by Adam Trumper on May 26, 2008 17:15:46 GMT -5
"Yes, I'm fine, thank you,"
Adam nodded, and decided to leave it at that. He didn't want to put themselves into an uncomfortable situation, sometimes things were just better left forgotten in the past. If only his past would stop taunting him, and mocking him. How do you leave the past behind when it keeps finding ways to get to your heart? It made him yearn for the old days, and feel horrible. It reaches way down deep and tears you inside out till you're torn apart. He did feel torn apart all the time. Something that was so much a part of him was missing, and it made him feel miserable all the time.
"...Well, technically a newsie trainee,"
A slight smile crept over Adam's face, "I didn't know they had newsie trainees." He said, with a small laugh. He didn't really know anything about the newsies, he just knew that they sold papers. Sometimes a newsie or two would come up and listen to his music, but they never paid. It was understandable though, they didn't have much money to give.
"...I'm usually scared around them, I don't know why. It's lately become this irrational fear lately,"
Adam furrowed his brow. He wondered why she was scared around strangers, sure everyone was uncomfortable around them but he had never met someone scared of them. He wondered if she actually knew the reason, but didn't want to tell him. "Do you know why?" He asked, not wanting to probe into her personal life. If she didn't want to tell him, it was fine, he would drop it and leave it at that.
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Post by Dreamer on May 27, 2008 21:13:31 GMT -5
"I didn't know they had newsie trainees."
Dreamer gave a small smile.
"They didn't," she commented with a little laugh. "As soon as I showed up, they started having them,"
"Do you know why?"
Dreamer was confused as to what Adam was talking about if she knew why something happened or not, but then it her.
She realized that even though she just explained that she didn't know why she was scared of strangers, Adam KNEW that there was something she was hiding. He knew that she in reality knew the reason.
She started to feel guilty. And she just explained not too long ago that she didn't like to lie. Sighing, she told him only a bit of the truth so that it wouldn't be too overwhelming.
Facing him, she nodded, a bit hesitant.
"Yeah," something was caught in her throat as Dreamer spoke. "Actually...I do. I didn't have a good experience with trusting people I didn't know fully...even people who I knew for most of my life. But...me putting a bit of my trust in them, and not telling my parents..."
Tears started to stream down her cheeks, beyond Dreamer's control to stop. But she held her head high, hoping to overcome it soon. She tried to give a reassuring smile to Adam, wanting to tell him emotionally.
"Well," she said. "You get the idea right? I mean, if nothing happened, then I wouldn't be standing here at all telling you,"
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Post by Adam Trumper on May 27, 2008 21:30:55 GMT -5
"Actually...I do. I didn't have a good experience with trusting people I didn't know fully...even people who I knew for most of my life. But...me putting a bit of my trust in them, and not telling my parents..."
He could relate to that, he trusted people he didn't know and he never told his parents. To this day, his parents didn't know of his drug abuse, or at least from what he knew they didn't. He knew it would break his parents' hearts, and their pride would be extinguished more than it probably already was. The last time he spoke to them was when he brought Rose home a week after he met her. His sister warned him she wasn't going to be good news, but he blew her off and ignored her. If only he would've listened...
"I know what you mean, I trusted people too easily and it didn't end up well for me." He said, glancing down at his guitar. He got a better grip on his and shifted it slightly, making it more comfortable for him. He had to commend her, it seemed like she had a lot on her plate, just like Adam. And it seemed like she was being strong about it.
"You get the idea right? I mean, if nothing happened, then I wouldn't be standing here at all telling you,"
Adam nodded, "If it wasn't for the things that happened to me, I would still be in Chicago." He said, he would still be in Chicago with his family. He should've listened to his sister's warning, and not of thought of her as the annoying younger sister she was. He wished he would've been as wise as he was now.
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Post by Dreamer on May 29, 2008 22:32:04 GMT -5
"I know what you mean, I trusted people too easily and it didn't end up well for me."
Dreamer nodded.
"Funny, isn't it?" she asked. "When people you barely know have the possible chance of either helping you or ruining your life?"
"If it wasn't for the things that happened to me, I would still be in Chicago."
Sadly, Dreamer stared straight ahead, her mind just spacing out into total emptiness.
"...If it wasn't for the things that happened to me," she softly said. "I'd still be in Texas managing the ranch...And my parents would still be alive,"
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