In Line

[Anthony Higgins]

"Ok, ok, we'll do that den, I'll bet on my own and you on yer own, that's fine,"

Race felt as if he still had offended her, and he wasn't getting his point across. "Look, it's not that I don't like you or nothin'. You're a bully kid, Cowgirl, real bully. But them races...they'se my thing. And pairin' up...it takes somethin' away." He was getting far too personal, so he stopped there and didn't say anything more on the matter. "But you'se can come along, sure. I got nothin' to say to that..."

"Where ya headed now?"

He grabbed her hand and pulled himself up, taking up his stack of papers. "I think I'm headed to Central Park...maybe Midtown after if the crowds ain't so good." He shifted his pile under his arm. "If I don't see ya, we'll talk more later..."

"Wanna get sometin ta eat?"

Race wanted to, but he had no money on him whatsoever. He grinned apologetically. "Sorry, kiddo. But until these papes get sold, I ain't eatin'." He put his unlit cigar between his teeth and guestured to her. "Walk me to the Park, if you'se want..."

He started walking, but stopped when he saw she was glancing up at the sky. "So many people ya know? I meet a new person every day it seems, and each one is different, everyone unique, it's amazing to stop and think sometimes."

The sudden poeticism of her words unnerved Race; he was anything but a sensitive soul. "That's New York for ya," he said with a shrug. "C'mon, let's go..." He started off towards Central Park, glancing over his shoulder at her to see if she was following.

((We can continue the thread until we get to the Park, right? And "bully" is actually late 1800's slang for "great" or "super"...so you know. .))

[Cowgirl]

Cowgirl smiled abit, she thought it was funny that he continued to defend his case, she completely understood, he didn't have to do that, but she realized that he probably thought she took offense, when she didnt. She sighed abit when he said he was going to Central Park and she figured she could walk him, at least it'd give her something to do, and it was a nice day, she didn't like to waste nice days indoors. She fell in step beside him and looked over at him,"Race, we really should hang out wit each udda more, I mean we's friends, and it seems like I meet more new friends now adays than I hang out with the ones I already got,"she said as she looked around before looking down at her feet. Her expression was pretty distraught and disturbed as she fell silent.

She was beginning to realize that maybe Race,Spot,and Jack wouldn't push her away, that she might be the one to do it, no matter how hard she tried to keep them as friends. She shuddered slightly and shook her head in thought, it wouldn't happen, she wouldn't let it happen. She took in a few small breaths and put her hands in her pockets uneasily as her hair fell into her pale face, her eyes now no longer sparkling with the happiness they had just moments ago.

[Anthony Higgins]

"Race, we really should hang out wit each udda more, I mean we's friends, and it seems like I meet more new friends now adays than I hang out with the ones I already got."

Racetrack furrowed his brow. "Sure we hang out. Who says we don't hang out?" He saw Cowgirl every day, and talked to her a lot of the time. Newsies didn't have all that much spare time during the day, and Racetrack's nights were spent in Brooklyn at the Sheepshead Bay Races. He wasn't too far under the impression that he and Cowgirl didn't hang out. He was around her just as often as he was around the other Manhattan newsies, maybe even more, because not all of them he talked to.

He noted a sudden chance in her expression. "Somethin' the matter?" he asked, bending his head a little to catch another look at her face. She looked upset for some reason, and wouldn't look away from her shoes. He stopped walking suddenly, much to the annoyance of the old woman walking behind him. "What, did I say somethin'?"

[Cowgirl]

Cowgirl sighed and shook her head before meeting Race's eyes, her own abit confused and fearful,"I jus' don't wanna lose ya, ya know, I've lost alotta people in my life, I don't wanna lose you, or Jack, or Spot, ya three mean the most to me,"she said as she tilted her head abit and bit her lower lip, she didn't want to get so emotional, but it was bugging her that she never said this to anyone, she kept things to herself so much.

She stopped when he stopped and she tried to keep her eyes locked with his but failed and looked down again as her hair fell into her face again, she couldn't be like this, she had to be tough, but she couldn't, she was tired of being tough, she wanted to be able to cry or something every so often.

[Anthony Higgins]

"I jus' don't wanna lose ya, ya know, I've lost alotta people in my life, I don't wanna lose you, or Jack, or Spot, ya three mean the most to me."

"Cowgirl...you ain't gonna lose nobody. Jack's been there for ya since you was kids. Spot...you two'se really close! I wouldn't worry 'bout that if I was you..." He scratched his head. "Kiddo...you got all of us. You ain't losin' none of us, so long as you stick around." She didn't seem to be able to look him in the eye, and he took her arm. "Cowgirl, c'mon! Where's all this comin' from? You was never like this...whassa matter, eh?"

((Sorry for the sparse post...))

[Cowgirl]

Cowgirl looked up at Race and bit her lip as she shook her head slightly,"I dunno Race, it's hard, it's just so hard, and I keep having nightmares about my parents, and then I jus' feel like we're not as close as we used ta be, me and Jack.... we used to be almost inseperable in a way, but now all he does is worry about Jinks....and I understand I do, but it jus' don't feel da same anymore..."she said her eyes watering as she shook her head abit more.

She refused to cry, she couldn't cry, not infront of him of all people, please not infront of him....but she couldn't keep it from coming and the tears fell down her pale cheeks like raindrops sprinkling from the sky on a rainy day.

[Anthony Higgins]

"....and I understand I do, but it jus' don't feel da same anymore..."

Race knew that Jack's thoughts had been occupied mainly by his sister for a while. Race never thought much of it, because he knewJack was thinking about something else more than he thought about what was going on at the moment. "Cowgirl...I ain't the one to talk to 'bout this. Ya know you'se can tell me, kiddo...but that's not what's worryin' ya. Ya gotta talk to Jack if that's what's worryin' ya..."

With a start he realized she was crying. He glanced around for a moment, not sure as to what to do. Awkwardly, he decided to get her out of the street. He took her wrist and pulled her to the sidewalk, where they wouldn't block the road and fewer people could see her cry. Race kept looking uncertainly around, as if hoping someone who knew what to do would come along. He said to her, "Easy now...hey, c'mon, stop that...ain't no need for that..." He had no idea what to say, so he kept repeating, "C'mon...it's fine, there ain't no need...Aw, c'mon..."

[Cowgirl]

Cowgirl looked at him and wiped her eyes,"I jus can't talk to him Race, it ain't that simple.... it's not easy ta talk ta him anymore, and den there's the fact of finding him when he has time ta talk, and then there's hoping dat during talkin' ta him and not havin' him bring up Jinks.....I haven't had a normal conversation wit him in weeks..."she said as she leaned her back against a wall. She looked down,"It ain't right fer me ta be droppin' all dis on ya Race..."she murmured.

She looked up at him and pushed herself away from the wall,"I'll be ok...fer now, les get ya ta Central park, and I'll figure out what ta do bout Jack later,hopefully..."she said. She started walking again,"I need ta tink before I go around sayin stuff ta ya....it turns out horribly if I don't tink first."she said.

[Anthony Higgins]

"I haven't had a normal conversation wit him in weeks..."

"He's been worrin' about Jinks, I know. But...I didn't too much know exactly how he's bein'." Race hadn't tried to talk to him in a long time. They had both been busy...Race was trying to get enough money together to mabye win a race or two, and Jack had his own problems. Racetrack couldn't imagine why Cowgirl wanted to talk to Jack so badly. She had everyone else to talk to, plenty of girl friends and guy friends she could talk to if she was having trouble with something. What was so special about Jack? Needless to say, there was close to no romance in Racetrack, so he wouldn't be able to see the real reason if it was painted on a sign for him.

"It ain't right fer me ta be droppin' all dis on ya Race..."

Race shook his head. "Hell if I care. I don't mind so much. But for God's sake, quit cryin' will ya? It ain't makin' it better for you or me..." He didn't like to see people cry, mostly because of the glances the passers-by gave and the thought that Race was often powerless to stop them from crying.

"I need ta tink before I go around sayin stuff ta ya....it turns out horribly if I don't tink first."

He shook his head again. "It's no trouble. If anyone gotta think 'fore they say somethin' it's me. You just tellin' me stuff. It ain't horrible, nothin'..." He shifted his papers from one arm to the other. "Let's head out. If ya wanna keep talkin', g'head. I can't stand quiet..."

[Cowgirl]

Cowgirl followed him as they headed toward the park again. She looked down and shoved her hands in her pockets hastily before tilting her head back and looking up at the sky,"Race.... ya never look at the world differently do ya? yer stuck in this state a mind where ya always think da same way, it's not a bad thing, but maybe it's why you don't see it..."she said as she looked over at him. She wasn't being cruel, or mean, she wasn't being nice either, she was just stating logical observation of him. She pulled out a cigarette and lit it taking a drag to calm down.

"It ain't somethin I expect ya ta undastand...I know who undastands and who doesn't, yer da one who undastands racin', and anytin' ta do with gamblin', yer not the one ta come to fer help with this kinda thing, but I jus' haven't seen anyone ta talk to it about until I came across you today, and even if ya don't undastand...you try.."she said as she blew a smoke ring before taking another drag.

[Anthony Higgins]

"...but maybe it's why you don't see it..."

Racetrack listened, but he really had no idea what she was talking about. He didn't at all think of himself as someone with a one-track mind. Granted, he didn't take much time to sit out and look at the sky and wonder why it was there and why this was that and that was this, like she did, and some other folks he knew did. But Racetrack had always been more interested in what was than what could be. Uncertainty bothered him. Secrets, aside from his own, drove him crazy. And anything obscure or hidden made him want to kick something. Maybe, he thought as Cowgirl lit a cigarette, that was what she was talking about.

"...but I jus' haven't seen anyone ta talk to it about until I came across you today, and even if ya don't undastand...you try.."

Honestly, Race wasn't sure what there was to understand. Cowgirl and Jack were friends, and lately Jack had been too involved in other things to talk, and that made Cowgirl upset because she didn't feel as close to him as she had been feeling. What else was there to it? He was definetly missing something, and he didn't like it. "I don't get it all the way, Cowgirl. I know I don't, and ya know me. I don't read between the lines. So if there's somethin' I'm missin'...lemme know, will ya? I hate hidden meanings, they drive me up the wall..."

[Cowgirl]

Cowgirl looked down as she listened to his words, he didn't understand, and he didn't want to read between the lines, she knew this. She just had a hard time coming out with things like this, but maybe if she could open up and tell Race the truth, it would make things easier when she talked to Jack. She stopped mid step and looked up at Race. She walked infront of him and looked him straight in the eyes, her own blue ones sparkling in the sunlight.

"I love him Race....I love Jack more then he knows, when people ask me if he and I are smittin', they have no idea that I wish it were true....."she said. She couldn't believe those words had just come out of her mouth.

She looked down and fell silent thinking over what she just told Race, wondering what he was going to tell her, wondering if he knew something she didn't. She put her cigarette out with the tip of her boot after dropping it on the sidewalk, and waiting for him to speak.