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Post by Mush on May 23, 2008 18:53:42 GMT -5
Mush walked down the streets of the Bronx, mainly wandering. There was a girl from the Bronx that caught his eye one day when he was selling, her name was Nellie. There was a certain connection that he just felt with her. They met one day and talked for a little bit, and he was coming back to see her. He just had to, it was this feeling inside of him.
He took deep breaths, trying to calm himself. He just felt really nervous, and numb. Why did he feel numb? He was supposed to be the one who turned all the girls into mush. That's how he got his nickname! It wasn't supposed to be the other way around, he wasn't supposed to literally turn into mush. But that's how he felt. My pulse is rushing, my head is reeling, my face is flushing. What is this feeling?
He took off his hat and ran his hand through his short curls. He took another deep breath as he looked for the familiar frame of the girl he was falling for. She wasn't in sight. Just for the sake of doing something with his hands, he took off his hat again and wiped his forehead. He wasn't even sweating, well not yet anyways.
He stuck his hands in his pockets as some other girl he used to like came up to talk to him. He pretended to be interested in the conversation but he wasn't. In fact, this girl was annoying him. That was a first for Mush, he never got annoyed by girls. He was supposed to love them, but his mind wasn't on anyone else except for Nellie.
Mush walked away from the really annoying girl, saying he would visit her. He didn't like lying, but in this case he had to. He continued walking, trying to find Nellie, but failing. However, he didn't hear the footsteps coming from behind him.
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Post by nellie on May 23, 2008 19:12:12 GMT -5
Nellie's selling today was punctuated by frequent daydreams.
She found herself selling one moment, and then the next finding herself staring off into the distance, eyes glossed over in thought. She would come back to herself in time to catch a few stares, and begin selling again, calling out headlines and people buying from her, as normal. She sold all forty of her papers, but it had taken her almost twice as long to get everything done. As she walked back to her mother's tenement, she scolded herself. She couldn't afford (both literally and figuratively) to have her head in the clouds. And for what?
Well, she thought, she knew for what. But she was having a bit of a hard time admitting it to herself. It sounded so ludicrous, but it was the undeniable answer to her sudden dreaming. Nellie was many things, but she wasn't usually much of a dreamer. She knew her sudden daydreams had to do with a boy she had met not too long ago, a newsie who was selling and started talking to her. He was undeniably handsome, and she found it easy to talk to him. And that smile! She almost blushed just thinking of it.
Every little trait, however small...
It wasn't like her to get so worked up about a boy. But she knew it would happen eventually, but she hadn't been expecting it to happen so fast. She only knew of books where there existed thing like love at first sight. But there was such a strong emotion she felt toward the boy who had called himself Mush, she had no choice but to believe that something like that could happen, even at a far more reality-based level.
Thought I do admit, it came on fast...still I do believe that it can last...
And, suddenly, there he was.
He had his back to her, but Nellie knew it was him. He had just walked away from another girl Nellie didn't know, and he continued walking. Nellie quickened her pace slightly, but made it look natural. She didn't want to make it obvious that she was glad to see him. She put on a confused face and called out, "Mush? Is that you?"
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Post by Mush on May 23, 2008 19:36:21 GMT -5
"Mush? Is that you?"
Mush jumped about a mile as he turned around to see Nellie. He felt as if he just got punched in the stomach, in a good way. He smiled sheepishly, "Yeah, um, I guess." He said. He immediately regretted saying that. She probably thought he was an idiot, he smiled again to try to make up for the idiotic thing he just said.
He bit his lip, "So uh, how have you been?" He asked, hoping his face wasn't bright red. It probably was, he blushed somewhat easily when he was flustered. What is this feeling so sudden and new? I felt the moment, I laid eyes on you. He smiled again, hoping the conversation would go along. He really enjoyed talking to Nellie.
Mush was trying to figure out why he was falling for her. Then again, he had to ask "Why not?". Nellie was a very pretty girl, and she was really funny. She had things to say, and she was going to say them. And Mush enjoyed that. He didn't like too quiet girls because then he wouldn't know how to talk to them. And he might offend them by talking too much, that has happened to him before. A girl stormed off because he said something about a dog she found offensive. He got slapped and she ran off. He wouldn't of said anything if he knew it would offend her, but she didn't tell him anything. So how could he of known?
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Post by nellie on May 23, 2008 19:50:56 GMT -5
"Yeah, um, I guess."
Nellie had flustered him, and she was sorry. But he gave her a smile (that smile!) and she giggled a little and said with a smile of her own, "You guess? Well, I'm pretty sure it's you..." She walked over to him, trying to maintain her composure. She had a funny feeling in the pit of her stomach, a feeling that was both annoying and perhaps pleasant. She just wished it would evaporate, so she wouldn't have to worry about keeping herself composed. "What brings you around here?" she asked. He had told her he was from Manhattan, and indeed that was where she had seen him last.
"So uh, how have you been?"
She shrugged one shoulder. "Not so bad. The same old thing, you know." She half-wished she led a more interesting life, so that she would have something to talk to him about. "What about you? Doing well, I hope?" Every word was picking and choosing, a struggle not to say the wrong thing. What in the world was going on? She never was the least bit awkward in her conversations. Words flowed out of her effortlessly. Mush had an entirely different effect on her than most people, for a reason she knew but found she couldn't quite place.
There's a strange exhiliration...
She had no idea how she could continue on like this. She hoped he would say something, anything, to break then tension between them and get regular conversation underway. If they started talking about normal things, she would be okay. Otherwise...well, the feeling was close to anguish. But if anguish could be pleasant, she thought, this was it...
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Post by Mush on May 23, 2008 20:08:07 GMT -5
"What brings you around here?"
Mush froze, he came to the Bronx to find her. But could he tell her that? What if she thought he was an idiot? He couldn't lie to her. He was a horrible lier, especially around people he liked. He always would smile and basically blow his cover. He looked down to the ground and put his hands in his pockets. He took a deep breath and said, "I um came here to see you." He said, praying for the best.
"Not so bad. The same old thing, you know. What about you? Doing well, I hope?"
He nodded, "Yeah. I'm doing good. The same as you, just the same ol' same ol'." He said with a smile. "Nothing interestin' happens to me." He chuckled a bit. Slowly but surely he was getting his composure back. And he was extremely grateful for that. He couldn't stand not being able to talk well, especially around girls.
Its so pure, so strong
He swallowed and took a good look at her, she was very pretty with brown hair tied back. There seemed to be a glow about her that he just adored. He didn't understand how she didn't have a boyfriend yet. But he was very glad about that, because that meant he had a chance with her.
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Post by nellie on May 23, 2008 20:23:05 GMT -5
"I um came here to see you."
Nellie felt color rise in her cheeks like hasty flames. She knew it would be useless to try and keep down the blush that rose, or to hide the fact that her stomach had suddenly back-flipped. A reply like that wasn't at all what she had been expecting from him. He was too forward, too rash...but somehow, she liked it. Forward or not, he was more or less giving her a green flag. She didn't have to fall over herself in a desperate attempt to act normal when her gut feelings were anything but. She was more grateful for that than anything else.
"Me?" she said, her voice higher than was natural. She scolded herself internally, telling herself she shouldn't have opened her mouth if she wasn't sure what would come out. She gulped a little, and smiled, trying to ignore the light feeling in her head, something akin to lack of sleep but far more pleasant. "Well, I'm glad..." she said honestly, and some of the angst was subtracted.
"Yeah. I'm doing good. The same as you, just the same ol' same ol'. Nothing interestin' happens to me."
She laughed a little. "Me, neither. Maybe that's why we have so much to say to each other," she said with a wink. She loved talking with him, because the usual lack of interest and one-word answers were totally absent. A lot of the time, Nellie found herself doing all the listening while a friend talked the entire time. It was nice to find someone with whom she talked and listened about the same amount.
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Post by Mush on May 23, 2008 20:43:28 GMT -5
"Me?"
Mush blushed and hung his head, "Yes." He replied. He never should've said anything, he should've just lied and gotten over that. He felt dizzy and embarrassed, this was the first time someone has ever 'rejected' him in a way. And he hated it. He didn't want to be rejected ever again.
"Well, I'm glad..."
Wait, what?! She said she was glad? He was confused, did she like him or not? He swallowed and took a deep breath, using about every bit of courage in him to say what he was going to say. "Um, if you want would you like to do somethin' with me sometime? Just the two of us." His composure that he just had just left him. He hated this feeling of not knowing what else to say.
"Me, neither. Maybe that's why we have so much to say to each other,"
Mush smiled, Nellie was a person who didn't think he was an idiot. Well, maybe she did, but she did a good job of hiding it. All of the boys, and even some of the newsie girls thought he was an idiot, and they made fun of him. He didn't mind too much, but it was nice to be taken serious for once. "Yeah, I guess so." He said with a laugh.
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Post by nellie on May 23, 2008 20:58:30 GMT -5
"Yes."
She was at a loss for words. It was alien to her, knowing that she had a sort of...impression...on a boy. She was only guessing, of course. For all she knew he wanted to ask her if she could spare a few cents for a meal. But to her, he looked almost as flustered as she felt. It was a partial reassurance, but it was partially frightening. A soft, shy smile was frozen on her face, and she couldn't bring herself to speak, or even think of anything to say. She only glanced at him, met his eyes, and her smile widened slightly before she turned her gaze to the ground again.
"Um, if you want would you like to do somethin' with me sometime? Just the two of us."
Nellie could feel her heartbeat quicken. She looked up at him again, slightly surprised. "Just..." she began to echo, but stopped, realizing how stupid she sounded. She felt her face grow hot again and wondered how much deeper her blush could get before she keeled over. She blinked, took a breath, and offered him a smile. "Sorry," she said apologetically. There was no longer any hiding her reactions to everything that was going on. She was probably cherry red and looked ridiculous with her smile. "And...I would love to." Another relief, and the feeling in her stomach lessened more.
Sudden silence, sudden heat...
"Yeah, I guess so."
He laughed, and in turn she did, too. She laughed more for herself...anything to break through the tension and get her feeling at least slightly normal again. "Walk with me?" she asked, inclining her head. She had been planning to head home, but obviously things had changed a little. Her mother probably wouldn't worry after her, anyway. What was another half hour...?
((Haha I switched the song on you.))
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Post by Mush on May 23, 2008 22:15:36 GMT -5
"Just...Sorry, And...I would love to." Mush bit his lip and held his breath as he awaited her answer. "Please say yes, please say yes." He prayed silently. When she said she would love to he wanted to jump over the moon. Only thing to do is jump over the moon. He beamed, "Really?" He couldn't believe it. He felt relieved, and ecstatic. He wanted to do flips around the street and laugh in people's faces if they said something. He felt on top of the world. Love lifts us up where we belong, where eagles fly on a mountain high. He offered her a genuinely happy smile, he felt amazing. He just felt a rush of adrenaline go through his body, and quite frankly he loved this feeling. "Walk with me?"Mush beamed and followed her. He decided to pull a big move, well not that big. He just grabbed her hand and en lanced it in his. Hands touch, eyes meet. He looked over at her and smiled. He felt like the luckiest guy in the world. ((Haha, I changed the song on you a few times, but when back to Wicked in the last paragraph. Hopefully your undecided won't get all jealous and mad at me.  ))
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Post by nellie on May 23, 2008 22:35:43 GMT -5
"Really?"
He beamed, and she smiled back. It was almost odd, seeing him so thrilled. Shouldn't she be the one grinning ear to ear, trying to hide the fact that her heart was racing and her head was swimming? It was almost too perfect, she thought. She wondered for a brief moment if she was dreaming. She said to him, "Of course. I'd love to..." All of this had her absolutely floored. She could hardly believe it, really. My wildest dreaming could not forsee...
He started to walk with her, and abruptly took her hand in his, lacing their fingers. Nellie felt her heart drop and rise again, skipping a beat. They walked down the street, hand in hand, and she struggled for something to say. But he looked at her and smiled, and suddenly, she didn't have to say anything. Just being here was enough.
Finally, though, she did speak. She turned to him and asked, "How are your friends?" He had mentioned some of his friends the last time they had talked together, and she just wanted to have something to say. She felt stupid, being so speechless all of a sudden, but she felt she had to say something. She wondered if he would entertain her feeble attempts at conversation. And though there's nothing more to say, will he listen if I stay?
The sun was setting. Soon the Bronx would be nothing but rows of dim gas streetlights, as would the rest of New York. Nellie's thoughts couldn't have been further from her mother or home. For the first time in a while, she neither thought about the past or what was to come. For once...the present was enough. She couldn't believe that Mush had this profound effect on her...
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Post by Mush on May 23, 2008 22:48:22 GMT -5
"Of course. I'd love to..."
Mush beamed again, he couldn't believe it. She chose him of all people to go out with. He was speechless, he couldn't think of anything else to say to her. All he could do was smile, that's how he expressed his gratitude was by smiling.
He loved this feeling, he loved the feeling of knowing she was his. Not like he owned her, but that no one could take her away from him. He loved having the knowledge of that. He still couldn't believe that this was happening. I need help believing you're with me tonight.
"How are your friends?"
He nodded his head in response. "They're good, they're all doin' real good. All of us are really close, we're all like brothers." He replied with a smile as he thought about his friends. Him and Kid Blink were the closest, they got along perfectly. Racetrack thought he was an idiot, but it was all in good fun. And then he enjoyed talking to a random few like Snitch and Dutchey. "How 'bout yours?" He asked.
Mush grinned again, enjoying every moment as it happened. He knew it would be over soon, too soon. And as it turns out, its over too fast. But he would make the most of it. That's what he tried to do everyday was live each day to the fullest. I'll make every last moment last. Making a memory of each day. Even if it was the smallest thing, he would treasure it. But that's just who he was, he had to treasure every day.
No day but today...
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Post by nellie on May 23, 2008 23:04:33 GMT -5
"They're good, they're all doin' real good. All of us are really close, we're all like brothers."
Nellie nodded in response. In her few years of being a newsie, she had seen this: boys who had no one but each other, and they depended on each other like brothers. As long as you've got me and I've got you, we've got a lot because we've got each other. The thought of it made Nellie miss her own brothers, how they used to tease her and play with her, and even try to protect her when things weren't at their ideal. She felt as if Bert and Jeremiah always looked out for her, and she felt almost as if they were stolen from her. In this nostalgia, Nellie found herself getting slightly emotional, and she squeezed Mush's hand to bring herself back to reality.
"That's wonderful," she said in reply. She ventured out to continue with saying, "I wish I had friends that close..." She did, she thought after a moment, but one was (well...might be...she had no way of knowing) all the way in Detroit, and the other, no one knew where he was. She let out a quiet sigh, and promised herself she wouldn't think about that anymore. There was a time and a place for it, but here was neither. She couldn't be with Mush and start pining for her brothers. It wouldn't be right. She couldn't. Instead she found herself walking closer to him, focusing on the sensation of his hand grasping hers. And then I feel your hand in mine, and courage fills my heart.
"How 'bout yours?"
Nellie paused for a moment before her answer came, boldly and not sounding too abashed. "I don't have many," she admitted. "Since I don't live in the lodging house, and I have a home and everything...most kids call me a scab..." She hated hearing that word. It made her sound like a bad person...somone who was against when everyone else was for. A stick in the mud, wet blanket, someone to hate. It was one of the reasons the lodging house newsies were so close. How do you bring people together? Easy. Give them someone to hate. They hated scabs, people with parents and homes who sold papers. And in that context, Nellie was a scab.
She glanced at the yellow-orange glow of the sunset, casting its colors on the world around her. It was lovely, she thought, and she tried to focus on that. No more talk of darkness... She would only train her mind on the happiness she felt in he moment: a wonderful boy, his hand entwined with hers, and the sunset that was the same in New York and Detroit.
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Post by Mush on May 24, 2008 12:54:08 GMT -5
"That's wonderful, I wish I had friends that close..."
Mush frowned, "Dontcha have friends in the Bronx?" He asked. He knew a bunch of girls that were around Nellie's age, and in the Bronx too. There weren't many boys in the Bronx, mainly girls. The girls were really nice too.
"Since I don't live in the lodging house, and I have a home and everything...most kids call me a scab..."
Mush furrowed his brow, he didn't think that kids with a home and a family were a scab. 'Cause David had a family and everything, but he wasn't near a scab. He thought scabs were people against the newsies, like Oscar and Morris. He didn't know if they had a family or not, he wasn't friends with them. He just liked to aggravate them. "Well I don't think you're a scab." He said.
Every moment, as long as you're mine.
He squeezed her hand lightly, and smiled at her. He was really surprised at himself, he usually wandered from girl to girl and never had someone. But there was a first time for everything. And Nellie was special, she wasn't like the other girls. She was just...different, in a good way.
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Post by nellie on May 24, 2008 13:09:46 GMT -5
"Dontcha have friends in the Bronx?"
Nellie shook her head. "Well, not yet. I mean...a lot of them, especially the girls, they live together and work together all day. I only see them for a few minutes buying papers, and then I'm gone." She gave a slight shrug. "It's like they've known each other forever, you know?" She wouldn't admit it, but she hated being on the outside of things. She desired nothing more than to be surrounded by friends...and so far, she didn't think that was happening.
"Well I don't think you're a scab."
She gave him a smile and shifted her hand to hold his more firmly. "Thanks," she said. She knew that the definition of a scabber depended on where you went. In Brooklyn, a scabber was any newsie who wasn't in Spot Conlon's group of kids. In the Bronx, it was anyone with a home and a family. Apparently, in Manhattan, it was something different. It was strange, how things like that could differ in such a small area.
He squeezed her hand, and she returned his smile. She was almost content in silence, walking with him, and looked up once again at their surroundings. It was growing darker, and she saw a young man lighting the gas lamps down the street. It wouldn't be long before evening was full upon them. How much longer would it be until Nellie's mother started worrying after her? She voiced her concerns to Mush. "I can't stay for too long after dark. My mother will be wondering where I am..."
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Post by Mush on May 25, 2008 12:43:44 GMT -5
"Well, not yet. I mean...a lot of them, especially the girls, they live together and work together all day. I only see them for a few minutes buying papers, and then I'm gone. It's like they've known each other forever, you know?"
Mush nodded sympathetically. He saw a bunch of kids, especially with families, feel left out. It was because him and a lot of his friends have known each other since they were really young. That's why he tried to help out some of the new newsies make friends, so they didn't have the feeling of being left out. "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry about that." He said.
"Thanks,"
He smiled in return, "No problem." He hoped he made her feel somewhat better. That made his day if he made someone feel better, even if he got a smile on their face. That made his day, he hated to see someone feel sad or angry. Maybe that's why he hated fights and fighting. When they first started the strike, all of the fighting made him feel uncomfortable. He didn't understand why everyone couldn't just get along.
"I can't stay for too long after dark. My mother will be wondering where I am..."
Mush nodded, "Okay," He paused. "If ya want, I can walk you home." He said, sheepishly. It was strange how he could change so fast from being confident, to being mousy about asking a simple question. Love makes us act like we are fools, throw our lives away for one happy day.
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))